Touchy Feeley

Saw a commercial on television recently that asked: "Do Canadians touch their pets more than their spouses?" This is part of a teaser campaign, since you have to go to the company's website to find out the answer. I did - the answer is no (the fact that I was uncertain suggests that we have not a very physically affectionate society I suppose). According to the site, spouses receive the most touch (46%), followed by children, other family members, then pets, followed by friends and co-workers. The site also mentioned that 20% of married couples go a whole day without touching; and that 1/3 of Canadians regularly go a day or more withough touching a single person.

The reason I bring it up is that in learning about caring for newborns, I've come to recognize how important touch is to human beings. I'd say I'm not a very "touchy-feely" sort of person. Tho', as I write that, I will concede that I am very affectionate towards my husband and family. I do find that outside the family circle, however, I'm much more hesitant to pat a friend on the back or touch an acquaintence on the arm. Most people that I encounter on a daily basis tend to be the same way.

When I lived for a while in Europe, I made some friends who grew up in a culture where they touched much more, and they often kissed each other on both cheeks -- either in greeting or when departing. At first I felt a little silly doing this kiss-kiss thing, but it was nice once I got used to the custom. It's amazing how it affects your regard for a person if you a more physically affectionate. I haven't seen many of these friends for several years now, but I think of them just as fondly now as when I saw them everyday.

I guess that I am hoping to raise children who are more comfortable with the giving and receiving of affection than I am. That's why the commercial intregued me (it's generally not a habit of mine to visit product websites for fun). That's why I used a sling to carry my son about until he was ready and eager to be mobile, and in general, to treat him in a way that is more in keeping with how children have been raised for thousands of years - in close contact via breastfeeding and carrying. I think that in the West our society has become a little too touch phobic, and we are losing out on an important dimension in our relationships with others. "Actions speak louder than words." We can do more good sometimes not by saying the "right" thing, but by doing right through a caring gesture.